Happy Birthday MayMay

Okay, indulge a proud grandmother. Today is my little MayMay’s 2nd birthday. In honor of that I made a collage of her life the past 2 years in pictures.

It’s kind of interesting to see how she changed over the months. She doesn’t even look like the same baby now as in the early pictures.

This little girl has totally turned my life upside down. But I’m loving every minute of it.

Happy Birthday sweet baby!

Cathy

The New Normal

July is going to be a busy month for me. I have 2 different pet/house sitting jobs, my son is getting all 4 of his wisdom teeth out. I’m going with 2 friends on a 10 day vacation the last week of July, my mother has 3 doctors appointments (nothing unusual about that though) and my daughter and grand baby are moving to their own apartment.

I’m having mixed feelings about my daughter moving out. I’m excited for her. I remember how thrilling it was for me to get my first place.

I’m a little worried for her. She’s kind of clueless on so many aspects of homemaking. But then I remember being that way too.

One evening, I was going to make potato salad to bring to the office potluck luncheon the next day. The recipe called for “new potatoes”. So I called my mom and asked her if I should go out and buy some new potatoes because the potatoes I had there were bought a week ago. She was playing scrabble with a friend when I called and they both laughed  hysterically. And I just kept saying, “What? What’s so funny?”

Even though over the years I have taught my kids how to cook, do laundry and basic house cleaning skills, there are a lot of things you just don’t learn until you get out on your own as an adult and experience it yourself.

I know it’s time my daughter moved out. After all, she’s 23, a mother herself and has a good job as a manager of a hair salon. She makes more money than her father does. She is an adult. And as an adult, she wants to be her own person, have her own life, separate from me.

I understand this is normal and necessary but part of me thinks she just can’t wait to get away from me.

My mother was always very controlling and wanted to be in every aspect of my life. It was suffocating. I promised to not be like that with my kids and for the most part I’m not.

I do keep my mouth shut on most things unless it’s something that may affect my granddaughter’s life. It hasn’t been that often I needed to say something but I know my daughter resents it when I do. That’s probably not going to change whether she lives here or not. Maybe  I should  just keep my mouth shut no matter what, but as a mom, I just can’t. What would you do?

MayMay

Isn't this just the cutest baby ever??? My granddaughter

Life will be changing for all of us. Not only will they no longer live here, once the baby turns 2 in a month and a half, she will start daycare part time. This is something we planned from the start. I would watch her full time until she was 2 and then she would go into daycare/ pre-school part time.

I will still be watching her but instead of the 60+ hours a week I am now watching her, it will be more like 30. I will still have her all day Saturday and Sunday. And Monday and Friday evenings. But now I will have Tuesdays through Thursdays to myself.

Part of me is really excited about this. There is so many things I have let slide the past few years, simply because my time was so limited. The other part of me wonders if my little granddaughter and I will lose the closeness we now have. But this change is for the best for her. She needs to socialize with other children.

I sound all sad about all this and like I said several times, I have mixed feelings about it. But isn’t it that way with any change in life, both the good and the bad?  Even with wonderful changes in life, you are usually having to give up something to get it.

There are many positive aspects about this move for me. I will have more time to focus on my business, my home and myself for a change. The house will be a lot less cluttered without all the toddler toys and paraphernalia all over the place. My daughter is somewhat of a clutter bug and to keep the peace, I usually just let her clutter up all the surfaces in the house with her junk, even though it drives me crazy. Now I can have a clutter free home!

It will be an adjustment but that’s what life is right? Nothing ever stays the same. I’m looking forward to the new normal.

I guess I will end my rambling. It has been more therapy for me to write this all out then it has been any actual information for you. Thank you for reading it.

Cathy

 

 

I Guess I am a Misfit

This morning was so beautiful but I knew it would get hot later in the day. So after taking my toddler grand daughter over to my mother’s house to do my morning care taking duties for her, I decided to stop off at a park on the way home.

park

MayMay's favorite park

 

I love this park. It has 3 big slides that are safe enough for little kids to play on.

Maylynn on slide

MayMay sliding

It  has a cool climbing thingie.

Maylynn climbing

Maylynn climbing

It also has lots of swings and a sand box area and picnic areas. A little kid’s dream, right?

My grand baby had a great time. There were plenty of other small children around to play with, along with lots of young moms standing around in small clusters discussing things such as swimming classes and when to start potty training.

And that’s where the topic of this blog post comes in. I just don’t fit in with them. I’m in my early 50′s. My own toddlers have long since grown up. But I still am very involved with raising my sweet little grand baby.

Ok, so no one came running over to me to include me in their conversations. I didn’t expect that. I decided I would have to make the first move. So when I would be close to them, like when I was swinging Maylynn and another mom was swinging her child, I would try to start a conversation (which isn’t easy for an introvert like me).

The first conversation went something like this:

Me: This is such a beautiful park;

Other mom: yes

Me: There are so many things for the kids to do here.

Other mom: (says nothing but smiles indulgently)

Me: How old is your little girl?

Other mom: 3

It was clear I wasn’t going to get anything beyond 1 word answers so I just shut up.

After several more attempts with other women with disappointing results, I faced the fact that I just wasn’t the kind of person other moms want to hang out with. After momentarily feeling sorry for myself, I thought about it, and remembered back to the days when I was one of these young mothers.

Would I want to hang around with an older woman? Probably not. It would feel like being with my mom.

So I gave these gals a break, and left them to their own conversations and just enjoyed the morning with my MayMay.

Now, I can hear you thinking. You are wondering why I, a woman in my 50′s would even want to hang around young 20 and 30 something moms.

Well, I guess I don’t really. It’s just my friends who are in their 40′s and 50′s either never had children, or their children are now in college or out on their own.

My friends who do have grand kids are the typical grand mothers who see their grand kids a few times a year or, if they live in the area, maybe once or twice a month. None of them have their grand children living with them. None of them babysit them on a daily basis.

So, they don’t want to hear about the “Sid the Science Kid” show that my grand daughter loves to watch or how she learned how to work my iphone before she was even a year old (she likes to look at the “babies”, which are just pictures of her in the photos section on my phone).

I feel like I have a foot in both worlds but I don’t belong to either.

I know I can’t be the only one out there in this situation. Right?