The New Normal

July is going to be a busy month for me. I have 2 different pet/house sitting jobs, my son is getting all 4 of his wisdom teeth out. I’m going with 2 friends on a 10 day vacation the last week of July, my mother has 3 doctors appointments (nothing unusual about that though) and my daughter and grand baby are moving to their own apartment.

I’m having mixed feelings about my daughter moving out. I’m excited for her. I remember how thrilling it was for me to get my first place.

I’m a little worried for her. She’s kind of clueless on so many aspects of homemaking. But then I remember being that way too.

One evening, I was going to make potato salad to bring to the office potluck luncheon the next day. The recipe called for “new potatoes”. So I called my mom and asked her if I should go out and buy some new potatoes because the potatoes I had there were bought a week ago. She was playing scrabble with a friend when I called and they both laughed  hysterically. And I just kept saying, “What? What’s so funny?”

Even though over the years I have taught my kids how to cook, do laundry and basic house cleaning skills, there are a lot of things you just don’t learn until you get out on your own as an adult and experience it yourself.

I know it’s time my daughter moved out. After all, she’s 23, a mother herself and has a good job as a manager of a hair salon. She makes more money than her father does. She is an adult. And as an adult, she wants to be her own person, have her own life, separate from me.

I understand this is normal and necessary but part of me thinks she just can’t wait to get away from me.

My mother was always very controlling and wanted to be in every aspect of my life. It was suffocating. I promised to not be like that with my kids and for the most part I’m not.

I do keep my mouth shut on most things unless it’s something that may affect my granddaughter’s life. It hasn’t been that often I needed to say something but I know my daughter resents it when I do. That’s probably not going to change whether she lives here or not. Maybe  I should  just keep my mouth shut no matter what, but as a mom, I just can’t. What would you do?

MayMay

Isn't this just the cutest baby ever??? My granddaughter

Life will be changing for all of us. Not only will they no longer live here, once the baby turns 2 in a month and a half, she will start daycare part time. This is something we planned from the start. I would watch her full time until she was 2 and then she would go into daycare/ pre-school part time.

I will still be watching her but instead of the 60+ hours a week I am now watching her, it will be more like 30. I will still have her all day Saturday and Sunday. And Monday and Friday evenings. But now I will have Tuesdays through Thursdays to myself.

Part of me is really excited about this. There is so many things I have let slide the past few years, simply because my time was so limited. The other part of me wonders if my little granddaughter and I will lose the closeness we now have. But this change is for the best for her. She needs to socialize with other children.

I sound all sad about all this and like I said several times, I have mixed feelings about it. But isn’t it that way with any change in life, both the good and the bad?  Even with wonderful changes in life, you are usually having to give up something to get it.

There are many positive aspects about this move for me. I will have more time to focus on my business, my home and myself for a change. The house will be a lot less cluttered without all the toddler toys and paraphernalia all over the place. My daughter is somewhat of a clutter bug and to keep the peace, I usually just let her clutter up all the surfaces in the house with her junk, even though it drives me crazy. Now I can have a clutter free home!

It will be an adjustment but that’s what life is right? Nothing ever stays the same. I’m looking forward to the new normal.

I guess I will end my rambling. It has been more therapy for me to write this all out then it has been any actual information for you. Thank you for reading it.

Cathy

 

 

2 Responses to “The New Normal”

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  1. Goodness honey you have every reason to feel like you do about the move but like you said we have to let them have their own lives too. I can remember feeling just like you when mine all left for college
    My daugther moved back home a month ago and will be here only another month but I already dread her leaving again.
    You are doing the right thing though vent on here and not to her. hahaha…They are so sensitive about us giving advice I too try to keep my mouth shut..lol
    Your grandbaby will do fine and still being with her 30 hours a week is a full time job in itself.
    Enjoy your new free time and do something just for you now
    Love
    Maggie

  2. mommacat says:

    Thanks Maggie for making me feel it’s normal to feel this way. You are such a sweetie!

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